~Enrique~

捨得=成功

追求目標的同時

勢必放開一些、並忍耐一些。

逼自己做不想做的事情是一種進步的方式

在面臨選擇時，

要記住選擇不能失去的，

而不是選擇自己想要的.

相信成功一日指日可待.

＊Enrique＊ says:
真的會都剛剛好嗎?

gigi>生命對每個人都剛剛好(胡德成) says:
會呀
我是這麼認為
看自己所擁有的
你會發現自己比想像中幸福許多

＊Enrique＊ says:
真的嘛?
好難

gigi>生命對每個人都剛剛好(胡德成) says:
那我舉例
你的父母沒有離婚
你沒有負債
英文很好
身體健康
有一群朋友
皮膚不錯

＊Enrique＊ says:
我---皮膚
想太多

gigi>生命對每個人都剛剛好(胡德成) says:
長得很帥

＊Enrique＊ says:
哈~~~ 夠了

gigi>生命對每個人都剛剛好(胡德成) says:
真的呀

＊Enrique＊ says:
帥.... 嗎?

gigi>生命對每個人都剛剛好(胡德成) says:
恩~ 帥呀
你對你自己那裡不滿意？

＊Enrique＊ says:
不知道ㄟ
就覺得不是很順
同年齡的都事業有成了

gigi>生命對每個人都剛剛好(胡德成) says:
事業有成 ！
那是你想要的嗎？

＊Enrique＊ says:
至少女人現在都在看這個啊

gigi>生命對每個人都剛剛好(胡德成) says:
那樣的女人你在乎嗎？

＊Enrique＊ says:
是對我沒有加分的成份在啦

gigi>生命對每個人都剛剛好(胡德成) says:
對呀
你為了一個不在乎的女人的眼光而在意是為了什麼？

到處亂走

隨便亂走

慢慢遊走



想了很多事

也看開了許多事

也明瞭了不少事

更接受了一堆事


心也該放了...

心也該靜了...

心也該輕了...

心更該淨了...

We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems: problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.



*What is Anger?

--The Nature of Anger

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.


--Expressing Anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertiveot aggressiveanner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inwardn yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someoner somethings going to get hurt."


--Anger Management

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.


--Are You Too Angry?

There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.


--Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?

According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.


--Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"

Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.



*Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay

--Relaxation

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

Some simple steps you can try:

^Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

^Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

^Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

^Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.


--Cognitive Restructuring

Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."

Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactionsrustration, disappointment, hurtut not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.


--Problem Solving

Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.


--Better Communication

Angry people tend to jump tond act ononclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.

It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your angerr a partner'set a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.


--Using Humor

"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.

The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things oughta go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!

When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.

What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.


--Changing Your Environment

Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.

Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself

Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at nighterhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habitry changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.

Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.

Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a projectearn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.


--Do You Need Counseling?

If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"hat may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.


--What About Assertiveness Training?

It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.

Remember, you can't eliminate angernd it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.

美啊~

早上在去圖書館前,

繞道到七星潭，

在惱海中的圖樣ㄧㄧ浮在眼前！！

只可惜～

風景依舊

妳卻已經不在。

ㄧ邊看著雲朵一邊想著遠方的妳

妳也是跟我一樣在看著雲嗎??

想念妳的心情

又有誰知道呢??!





ㄧ張張把它拍下來

因為這是我在想妳時的畫面

是屬於妳

也是屬於我的

我們共同彼此的畫面

隨著iPod裡的歌

‘Close to u’ ….

真的是好美的ㄧ幅畫

書堆是目前我只想跳進去的圈子

每天都到圖書館報到

不過...

對面的小妹妹們---- '別'看過來!

大哥哥不適合妳們的啦

不要一直往我這邊看,

好嗎??!



專心看書!

這樣才能唸得出有效果.

文藻的名譽要靠妳我啊!

give = lost

effort = failure



why???

no matter how hard u try,

how hard u fight,

how hard u expect

but it all come down to one result--

failure, and walk away w no awareness!!



should we give anymore?

'coz as far i see it,

it'll all come to end

should we not to give?

i just don't have any more faith

me> me> me>>>>>>>>



what does reality has anything to do with the fantasy?

does it has to be like these?

why there's got to be a choice?

why can't we have both?

i thought that's possible,

but never happened in my time!

no more 10ve i could trust...

-crap------

I have had nothing

but now I do....

maybe you're right~

maybe you're right

way from the beginning!

You left me with nothing

but thanks to you....

since you've been gone!

I then realized little by little

that no any relation would matters but the marriage

thanks to you....

I know the way out~

to know something what's more important than ever~

最近看到文藻連署案

讓我只覺得

當家的真的應該要有明理與開闊的心胸!

任何同學們的留言情緒我能理解，

但是就事論事....

我只覺得放看國內與國外的畢業證書中，

沒有任何一所學校在畢業證書上附有自己學校要求學生之語文檢定。

'Certificate of Graduation'.. NEITHER 'SCORE REPORT' nor 'TRANSCRIPT'！！



http://complaint995.blogspot.com/

又是另一個月的第一天!

加油....

事情與挑戰越來越多了，

再給我點ㄦ時間

再給我點ㄦ力量

再給我點ㄦ信心

一切都可以安然度過的！

走～

走～

走走走...

表示我不是唯一的嘛!!!!

表示我不是錯的嘛!!!

停車一事真的困擾我許久!

真的很想砍人~~~~

可以建議我我該怎麼做呢？？？？？



他人的案例 ---->
================================
Ｑ：今天下雨回家要停摩托車時,因為別棟公寓的住戶都把他們那裡的摩托車停到我家樓下騎樓,由於沒有辦法,只好停在1F賣麵的店家前(他們自己用白色膠布在地上黏了禁止停車的標誌,而且那個他們自己標示的地方大概可以停3台小棉羊吧!!),老闆出來找我講話了,問我是不是住戶,叫我下次儘量不要停過來=.=||,他說他大可以叫警察過來拖吊,警察一過來,這一排車都要被吊走;雖然我已經停了,但是位置上還是可以讓人通過,我自己都很無奈,我家對面是旅館,常有一些閒雜人等紅男綠女把車停到我家樓下來,難道在自己樓下停車也不行嗎??想借問大大們,我是住戶也不能把摩托車停在自家的騎樓嗎??有沒有規定呢???

Ａ：您好, 住戶雖然對騎樓有所有權, 可以主張使用收益, 但是因為騎樓是供公眾通行之道路, 所以原則上是不能停車不能設攤不能擺放物品等等唷. 通常有人舉發, 警察背背就會來處理, 所以如果能和1F賣麵的店家相安無事最好, 但是如果他們不讓你停車只是為了他們方便營業或霸佔騎樓的話, 那你也可以舉發他們喔!!
================================

道路交通管理處罰條例 ---->
================================
第 3 條 本條例所用名詞釋義如左：
道路：指公路、街道、巷衖、廣場、騎樓、走廊或其他供公眾通行之地方。...

第 82 條
有左列情形之一者，除責令行為人即時停止並消除障礙外，處行為人或其雇主新臺幣一千二百元以上二千四百元以下罰鍰：
一　在道路堆積、放置或拋擲足以妨礙交通之物者。
二　在道路兩旁附近燃燒物品，發生濃煙，足以妨礙行車視線者。
三　利用道路為工作場所者。
四　利用道路放置拖車、貨櫃或動力機械者。
五　興修房屋使用道路未經許可，或經許可超出限制者。
六　經主管機關許可挖掘道路而不樹立警告標誌，或於事後未將障礙物清除者。
七　擅自設置或變更道路交通標誌、標線、號誌或其類似之標識者。
八　未經許可在道路設置石碑、廣告牌、綵坊或其他類似物者。
九　未經許可在道路舉行賽會或擺設筵席、演戲、拍攝電影或其他類似行為者。
一○　在公告禁止設攤之處擺設攤位者。

前項第一款妨礙交通之物、第八款之廣告牌、經勸導行為人不即時清除或行為人不在場，視同廢棄物，依廢棄物法令清除之。第十款之攤棚、攤架得沒入之。行為人在高速公路或高速公路兩旁，有第一項第一款、第二款情事者，處新臺幣三千元以上六千元以下罰鍰；致發生交通事故者，加倍處罰。

第 82-1 條
占用道路之廢棄車輛，經民眾檢舉或由警察機關、環境保護主管機關查報後，由警察機關通知車輛所有人限期清理；車輛所有人屆期未清理，或有車輛所有人行方不明無法通知或無法查明該車輛所有人情形，環境保護主管機關應先行移置或委託民間單位移置，並得向車輛所有人收取移置費及保管費。該車輛經公告一個月仍無人認領者，由該環境保護主管機關依廢棄物清除。
前項廢棄車輛之認定基準與查報處理辦法，由交通部會同內政部、法務部、行政院環境保護署定之；收取移置費及保管費之基準，由直轄市、縣（市）政府定之。

第 83 條
有左列情形之一不聽勸阻者，處所有人新臺幣三百元以上六百元以下罰鍰，並責令撤除：
一　未經許可在道路曝曬物品者。
二　未經許可在道路擺設攤位者。
三　在車道上、車站內、高速公路服務區休息站，任意販賣物品妨礙交通者。

沒錢了!

房東急著要錢

摧錢' 繳錢!

嗚~~~

且還要ㄧ次繳整年的!!



天啊!!!

納阿ㄋㄟ~

本來就沒啥錢了

現在又被刮了不小的數目...

辛苦工作的錢ㄧ下子就沒了.



不過房東太太:

我不是要到八月底才期滿嘛?

妳好像早了三個月跟我拿錢ㄟ!!!

???????